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Boundaries and Family

Recently, I watched the tribute match between Mark Briscoe and Jay Lethal on AEW Dynamite. The match was a tribute to Mark’s brother who recently passed away in an automobile accident. It was an emotional match and a touching tribute to an entertainer who brought many people joy, including myself. I actually meet The Briscoes Brothers this past November at WrestleCade.

During the match, commentator Caprice Coleman mentioned several times how precious life is. He followed it up with comments like, “Call you family, tell them you love them, get over the small things.” His comments were coming from a great place, I know this, but I believe over the course of the match, he mentioned three or four times to call your family and get over any petty disagreements because nothing was too important to prevent you from chatting with them.

I hear this sentiment a lot, and I believe it’s meant with good intentions. Lots of relationships break apart over small disagreements and things that aren’t important. So, I’m hoping, that is what people are referring to. But when it’s said, it’s usually said in an authoritative manner like, “Get over yourself and just forgive, because life is short” and that’s when you lose me.

The arrogance of thinking you understand my or anyone else’s family dynamic is absurd. There is a reason people set boundaries with family, and there can be all sorts of abuse, manipulation, addiction issues, and whatnot that interfere with the family on a daily basis. It’s not always as easy as just “forgiving” and moving on. While I think it’s important to process and forgive for your own personal wellbeing, in many cases it’s not so healthy to open the door to family or allow them to take up space in your life again.

Having been on the side of having to establish boundaries with parents and watching my wife deal with her family, the comments Caprice made the other night really bothered me. I guess, I just wish he would have left it at “Call your love ones, each day is precious” instead of adding the additional commentary and advice for “healing.”

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One Comment

  1. JD JD

    I hate when people say that. My sister is an asshole and I’m not letting her into my life. She made her choices and she can live with them; I don’t need that hate in my life just bc she is blood.

    People need to mind their business when saying that crap.

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