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Part II

I’ve taken time over the past month to evaluate the things, people, and habits that exist in my life. What serves me? What holds value in my life? Where should I invest my time and energy? Sometimes you must empty the cup, to refill it with something different.

I put limits and controls on my phone and tablet. I blocked sites and apps I spend too much time on. I stopped feeling guilty about missing out on TV shows or movies. I let the FOMO go. I closed all internet channels for communication, outside of a small blog that I ran like my own personal Twitter. Just random thoughts, images, memes, etc. and I didn’t give anyone the link. It’s my own private sanctuary, far from the judgements of strangers and friends.

I began preparing in the event of my death. I moved my password storage to Bit Warden where I can share access with my wife. I began streamlining accounts and wrote out directions on how to handle things digitally should I suddenly pass away.

I’ve begun to ask myself, “Does this make my life simpler and more peaceful?” If the answer is no, then I don’t do it or buy it. I even decided to spend Christmas alone with my wife. There was no family drama this year.

I got rid of most of my books and DVDs. I’ve taken the money I made on those and placed it into a fund to save up for an Apple Watch. Something I’d like to help me track some exercise statistics.

I mention exercise because I need to lose weight. While the results are not 100% in, it looks like I’m going to be okay. The liver disease is early on, and if I lose weight and manage it, I’ll be okay. So, I quit french fries. And then I stopped buying unhealthy snacks. Here in a few days, I’m going to start back at counting calories.

I started walking for fifteen minutes on one of my breaks at work. Rain or shine, I’m out there in the parking lot doing laps. I began doing this because it helps keep my back loose, but now it’s become the steppingstone into more walking and exercising for health. Because out of nowhere, being healthy stopped being a choice with no consequences.

Last night, I was talking with my wife who was purchasing some journals to help break down some of her personal issues and help keep her on track. While listening to her, I couldn’t help and remember one of the best things blogging has ever done for me. When I write out issues, I tend to break them down and simplify them. It helps keep me organized and on track. That’s when I knew I’d come back to writing. Not for an audience, not for any followers, but for myself. I needed a way to discuss some of these topics and stay motivated going forward.

WordPress has a search function that I use from time-to-time. Sadly, it doesn’t cut out the trash, so it’s like searching for a needle in a haystack, but occasionally, I’ll run across something worth reading. Numerous times, I’ve run across blogs created by folks who have been diagnosed with cancer. They use it to document their treatment and discuss their feelings. I’m not sure if this is something their doctors or therapists suggest, but I notice that many of the blogs end once the cancer goes into remission.

I think this shows how important writing out and communicating can be during trying times. While I wouldn’t dare suggest that my liver disease is anywhere near as concerning as a cancer diagnosis, I think the same principals apply. I need a place to discuss things, stay organized, and motivated. And so here I am.

I have no great plan for this blog. I will not be opening any sort of social media, joining any webrings, or anything like that. I’m just going to write. I may also just randomly post images or whatever is on my mind. In some ways, I want to turn this into a more public version of what I’ve been doing privately. A sort of catch all for anything that comes along. A funny image, a link that I like, a song that I’m listening to or a trailer I enjoy.

You will not find any posts with me complaining about technology or a dissatisfaction with some entertainment story. I’m just too tired for all of that. In fact, I’ve sort of embraced a concept I’ve already used with television shows. If you don’t like what you are watching, then change the channel or go do something else. Same thing goes with technology, sports, and what not. Instead of complaining, I’m just walking away. My time is too valuable to be wasted on useless proclamations.

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6 Comments

  1. Best of luck, Brandon! Your post inspired me. And I wish you all the best with the liver issue. I’m sure with the new changes in your life, the condition will improve. Take care!

  2. Hey Brandon. Welcome back (publicly at least.)

    Sorry to hear about your illness but, from what you say, it sounds like things will be okay. I admire your resolve and attitude.

    I hear what you’re saying about the need to write to process things — that’s why I really want to use my blog to help explore my mental health issues.

    Blogging is the one thing I always return to, it can do so much for us.

    All the best.

    • Hey Colin! Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment.

      I’ve really enjoyed your relaunch of your blog and I think you inspired me to step away and get my head straight.

      It really means a lot that you left a comment. So thank you.

  3. Hi Brandon, in the beauty of the interwebs I stumbled across your blog via Rebecca Toh. I just wanted to say (a) I hope all works out well for you and (b) keep writing. It’s the best way to work things out in your own head. Audience or not.

    • Hi Alastair! Thanks for stopping by! I actually discovered your blog earlier today via Colin Walker’s Hello page! I love the idea and actually created my own earlier today. I planned on contacting you to add it to your list sometime in the near future!

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