I am on day six of my twelve days off before I start my new job. Last week, I would have told you all these great plans I had for my twelve days off. They included detailing my car, visiting my father, having dinner with a couple different friends, cleaning the apartment, working out each day, and a bunch more. I haven’t done much of it.
Sure, the rain is to blame for me not getting around to my car, but something happened when my job ended. I finally had a little time to breath. I spent my first night and next day watching movies and completing God of War Ragnarök. Then, I watched more movies and TV shows. I got a little cleaning done and some meditation, but honestly, I’ve just sort of existed these past few days.
There’s a part of me, that immediately wants to beat up on myself for this. Like, why waste this time? When will I ever get twelve days off again? Maybe never. I should make the most of this, but in the midst of my inner critic taking some swings, I realized that what I am doing is not wrong. I’m not avoiding things, nor am I being a lazy. I’m just allowing myself to reset. To get back to neutral.
By having some quiet time where nothing is expected of me, I can start to pull back the masks. Prior to this break, I had this idea that my twelve days off was going to be a great reset. I was going to spend this time getting so perfectly organized that once I began my new job, I’d start fresh and everything would just fit into place. But once my mind settled, I realized that this is not reasonable.
Sure, I could organize my belongings and maybe even begin to establish new habits, but I have no idea what next week will hold. I’m not sure how this new job will go, nor do I know how my routine will be affected. I also have to adapt to having less money coming in, as well a dealing with two kittens and a wife who is incredibly stressed out as of late and going through some of her own personal problems. So, making everything perfect and expecting it to stay like that is a fool’s errand. The best I can do is to use this time to get a few things done that I’ve been putting off and get the much-needed rest I deserve.
So, I’m going to enjoy these next six days with no pressure and no judgement.
The less guilt, the better. I get two weeks off at Christmas and every year I both start off and finish exactly as you describe your break. Lots of plans. Little action. I think we are programmed to be productive but what we really need is the rest and relaxation.