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The Time I Have Left

I spend quite a bit of a time lately thinking about how much time on this Earth I have left. Not in a morbid counting down the minutes to death type of way, but more of a is this worth of my time way. Entertainment plays a big part in this, as I ask myself frequently:

  • “Is this worth two valuable hours?”
  • “Should I watch something twice, when there is so much other stuff out there?”
  • “Is this the final time I’m going to watch this movie?”

Back in my younger days, when I didn’t think about death nearly as much, I’d rewatch movies over and over again. I had nothing better to do and I thought it made me more a fan. Of course, that’s not true and now I want to make sure I’m getting something out of each viewing that is helpful to my life vs. just watching for the sake of watching.

I’ve discussed my thoughts about sports over the years, but I use this sort of mentality when thinking about sports. Is it worth my time to watch something for three to four hours where the outcome has a fifty percent change in disappointing me? Rarely is it worth my time.

I’ve also noticed that what and how I write also plays into this timer slowly counting down to zero. At one time in my life, I’d hang onto memories or events just so I could relive them over and over again. Now, I do my best to write out any moments or feelings of nostalgia to both preserve them, but also experience them one last time before letting them slip from my mind. I do this a lot over at Middle-Aged Fat Kids where I spent most of my time talking about things I’m nostalgic for or pop culture I enjoy.

Maybe I over think this all, but I remember reading this article in Men’s Health twenty years ago. It was titled something along the lines of, “The 25 Things You Think About While Having a Heart Attack.” The information was both comical but serious. I remember one line said, “Wow.. this linoleum flooring isn’t so bad.” But that article stuck with me, because I realized that one day I may be faced with those thoughts. I got to think about the way I lived, the things I did, and how much I enjoyed them. And so, I pivot. I keep reassessing and trying to make the best of my time, and make sure that every moment is worthwhile.

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