Was It All a Fever Dream?

It’s been a rough week.

*It’s been a rough life.*

I spent part of my day writing some blog posts that recapped my life around 2001. It was nice remembering the details and all that went on that year, and I was inspired to write these posts after listening to the *Smallville* soundtrack. I was in high school when *Smallville* debuted, so that music just hits a chord with me.

I found myself listening to Dido’s *White Flag* on the way home from work and after making myself some dinner and publishing a blog post, I thought to myself, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen the video for *White Flag*” so a quick YouTube search brought me to this 4k remastered gem starring the *Angel* himself, David Boreanaz.

The video itself is not great, but the song touches my soul in a way that most songs don’t. I sat in my recliner, allowing the stress of the day (and the past few weeks) leave my body, and I was just listening when suddenly I found myself transported back to the late 90’s/early 2000’s.

I sat in this memory and this feeling of a time that was so long ago now it feels like it wasn’t real. A time of hope, fun, and good music. I smile at the thought of young me living in a world where the internet was a few clicks away. Where I had to walk into a room to use the computer and fight with my brother to try and get time in front of the monitor.

I thought back to running to the store to buy CDs on the release day and spending hours browsing videos at the movie store. I skipped over and watched the *Here with Me* video and I remember sitting around all day watching MTV with a blank tape in my VCR waiting for the video to come on so I could record it.

The irony of it all is these memories were trigged by the internet. I sit here in this same recliner typing this blog on my laptop while listening to *White Flag* on YouTube a few more times. I don’t really know what to think about it all. It’s been over twenty years now, and the world seems so different and not in a good way.

I guess, I just miss it all. I miss my youth, I miss Web 1.0, I miss the time before smartphones, I miss a time when everyone wasn’t screaming their political beliefs. Maybe it’s the stress and anxiety talking, but I’d go back in a heartbeat. I wouldn’t even think about it. I’ll suffer through high school again and I’d savor every moment of it. It feels so different than the world we live in now, I almost have to question whether or not it even happened or as it just a fever dream?