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What Happened to my Holiday Spirit?

It’s twenty-one days till Christmas and I find myself wondering about my lack of Christmas spirit. It’s not fair to blame it all on Christmas, as this really dates back to the end of October when I begin hyping myself up for Thanksgiving, which came and went with a whimper.

I’ve noticed, the last several years, I’m devoid of holiday cheer. I just can’t get myself in the holiday spirit. I’ve tried watching TV and movies, listening to the music, heck, this year, I even made a trip out to the mall to enjoy the decorations and that did nothing for me.

I’ve spent the last couple of days mulling it over and I don’t think I’ve become a Grinch. I don’t hate the holidays, in fact, I almost grieve that I don’t enjoy them more, but I think it’s what surrounds the holidays that beats me down.

It’s that I have to avoid certain shopping centers and Costco this time of year. If for some reason, I do go inside to pick up protein bars, it’s going to be cart-to-cart with people shuffling around, cutting each other off, and then standing in super long lines. The parking lot is going to be terrible, and the lack of patience folks have even worse. It’s just a nightmare in itself that I’d rather avoid.

It’s that if I order something online, I have to be extra vigilant. More folks are out snatching packages and due to the large number of online orders, it seems like stuff gets lost/misdelivered more often this time of year. I lost forty dollars just last week because the post office claims they put my package in my locked mailbox, when they absolutely did not.

It’s that I’d love to go see something like Christmas lights, but I just do not have the patience to sit in line for 2-3 hours to drive through a fifteen-minute display.

It’s that there is pressure to be happy. All of the posters, movies, TV shows, and what not normalize this joyful bliss that you should experience this time of year, when instead I feel beat down. I’m exhausted from work, exhausted from traffic, and exhausted at the expectation that I’m supposed to be happy during the most wonderful time of the year.

Published inSelf-Reflection

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