You Have a Choice
Recently, I began reading Meditations for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman. I've been trying to distance myself from self-help/psychology/philosophy books, but I saw someone on reddit make an interesting post regarding some content in the book, so I decided to give it a read.
The book is designed so that you read one micro chapter a day for four weeks. Mr. Burkeman discusses a topic and gives you time to reflect on it. I think this is wise, since in so many situations with books offering advice/guidance, you are so overwhelmed with information that by the end of it you're lucky to walk away with one or two nuggets of wisdom.
I reached chapter three recently, and it stuck with me enough to want to write a bit about it. But before I do that, let's go back in time, sometime around 1995 in Orlando, Florida.
Dangerous Minds, starring Michele Pfeiffer had just been released in theaters, and the hit song from the soundtrack Gangsta's Paradise was blowing up the charts and I went to see Dangerous Minds in theater shortly after reading the book it was based on, My Posse Don't Do Homework by LuAnne Johnson.
The movie was decent in a sort of 90's after school special type of way, but only one scene really stood out.
It is a scene where Michelle Pfeiffer's character, LouAnne Johnson tells her students they have a choice of what they want to do. They can either come to school or not. Of course, a smartass teenager gets up and says that's bullshit, because they really don't have a choice.
Ms. Johnson informs the students that they actually do. They have a choice in everything they do in life, but with every choice comes a consequence, and they may not like the consequence. This blew my twelve-year-old mind and to this day it's the only scene I can recall from the film.
The third chapter of Meditations for Mortals is pretty much the scene from Dangerous Minds just written a bit more eloquently and for adults. Mr. Burkeman reminds the reader that we have a choice in everything we do. Whether that's working a job we dislike, buying a house we can't afford, staying with someone in a loveless marriage, etc. So many of us, remain stagnant when it comes to making big decisions because we don't like the consequences. We hope some imaginary decision will emerge out of somewhere or someone else will make it for us. And because of this inaction, we tend not to live the most fulfilling life that we can.
This concept really hit me like a bag of bricks. I've recently made a career change that I'm not in love with, but my typical brain pattern says, "Stay with it. You can't do any better. So what if you don't feel respected or fulfilled. You are lucky you got this job." And with this sort of ongoing commentary, no doubt stemming from years of existing in survival mode, I feel a lot of pressure and anxiety.
But just accepting that it is my decision on whether I get up and go to work is a liberating feeling. Sure, I may not like that I can't afford certain things, but ultimately that is a choice that I have the power to make and taking back that power really has made me feel less like a victim of circumstance and more like a master of my own destiny.
I'm not ready to quit this job yet, but suddenly, I feel like if I want to, I can. I don't owe anybody anything, and I need to find the best fit for me.