On Black Friday in 2004, I purchased a cheap MiniDV camcorder with the intention of filming a short film and finally beginning my filmmaking career. Over the next three weeks, I wrote a script, bought stuff to record audio, built my own steady cam, and planned for a quick shoot over Christmas break when my friend came home for the long weekend. I bit off way more than I could chew, and while I had the time of my life, an ice storm the first day ruined my film. I ended up with forty minutes of unusable footage, but memories for a lifetime.

If you've read my blog for a long period of time, you've probably seen me talk about this. This was my one and only attempt at making a movie. Sadly, right around the time of this endeavour, I found myself without a place to live and life got very real, very fast. Family relationships broke, that have yet to be repaired fully, and my dream got put on hold, because I needed to find a way to eat as my part-time weekend job in a hospital wasn't cutting it.

I think I look back on this time often, because it was one of those moments in life that really defined everything. I look at my life usually in two parts, Before Skin Deep and After Skin Deep. The before wasn't too bad, the after... well it at least for the first fifteen years it left a lot to be desired.

Having a little footage of my old bedroom, my friends, and myself... seeing the hope in my eyes and the passion, it's almost heartbreaking at times. I deserved better, I know that now and I hate that I never got a chance to see that dream through.

Over the years, I've thought about filming some stuff, I even went as far as to buy a nice camera a few years ago to try my hand at YouTube. But if I'm honest with myself, that's not really what I want. I'm at peace with how things turned out now.

But last week, I found myself thinking about Skin Deep. How I just wish I had finished it. The story wasn't great and I didn't have a real ending. I mean, I was working off no budget and a very limited schedule, so my original ending featured the guy shooting himself in the car. It was a dark moment, that didn't match the rest of the story, which was written more like a Kevin Smith film with the raunchy humor turned up a notch.

I never liked the ending, nor did my actor/producer Matt, but I had to work with what I had.

The truth is... if I had more time and money, I would have still ended it that same way. I didn't know how to end it. That was the problem. It's always been the problem.

So, I decided to re-write the script, which I pretty much still knew from heart. I even rewatched footage to make sure I got as much of it as accurate as possible, and then I decided to rewrite it, from a more mature lens. I toned down the humor, removed the ending, and bounced a few ideas off ChatGPT to see where it got me. To be honest, its ideas left a lot to be desired, but it did give me a thread to start down which led me ultimately to the ending I really wanted. I then proceeded to re-write the script as a short story, had ChatGPT act as an editor and then once more, went through line-by-line to ensure my words and vision came through.

It was perfect.

Not the story itself, it's still a simple story, that is even outdated in 2026 since it deals with online dating in 2004, but it was the story I wanted to tell. A story that focused on a friendship and one guy's dream girl. In all honesty, the story still reads a bit like a movie script, its less about fleshing out a world and more about highlight the dialogue between characters, but that's what I wanted. In fact, that sort of minimalistic writing is what I love (see Chuck Palahniuk).

When I finally made my final edit after ten hours of twinkering... I got a little emotional. Somehow, finishing this stupid little story offered some sort of closure I didn't know I needed. I just sat there staring at the final chapter in Apple Notes and was like, "I'm proud of this." That's not something I say too often.

I decided to share it with Matt, who was to be the co-star on this film twenty-two years ago. He can be a harsh judge, so it was a risky move, but he came back with the best compliment I could have hoped for, "This is the movie we should have made all those years ago."

I had ChatGPT make me a book cover (put down your pitchforks) and I turned it into an .epub and I sent it over to my Kindle. I'm not selling it or anything like that, its for me to enjoy. There's a certain satisfaction that has come out of opening up my Kindle and seeing that book sitting in the libary. But more importantly, a weight has been lifted from me, something I didn't even realize was there. I'm not sure if I held anger/sadness/frustration of not being able to finish my first big creative endeavour, but I feel lighter now. I feel good. So much so, it led me to start working on these old Blockbuster Chronicles posts I mentioned the other day. I originally took them off the internet, because they were basically brain dumps broken up into crude posts, and they weren't even given a quick proofread before posting. It's always the most sloppy stuff that gets the views. :)

Anyway, I've been working on rewriting, reorganizing, and recreating the missing posts. The plan is to finally finish this project from twelve years ago, and finally put it in e-book format as I set out to do over a decade ago. I'm not sure if I'll release that anywhere, but I may posts the finished chapters if it turns out as well as I think it might.

I also started dabbling with another screenplay I never finished. I guess, I have a little creative momentum I'm trying to lean into right now, and you know what, it feels good.