An Almost October Check-In

Over the past few months, most of my writing here has been about working at Blockbuster, watching horror movies, or reading Phillip K Dick novellas. To be honest, these types of posts are not all that popular, but it’s the type of things I like to share and explore, so I lean into it.

Today, I figure I'll check with some random thoughts about what has been going on the last few months.

Back in June, I talked a little about Reverse Seasonal Affective Disorder and how the hot weather really brings me down. The North Carolina humidity combined with 90+ degree days makes me lethargic, grumpy, and depressed. Realizing that this is a an issue, I've done whatever I can to combat it this summer. That meant, leaning into little writing projects, cutting myself a little slack on my workouts, and avoiding as much negativity as I can. I've done a fantastic job at divorcing myself from the news and toxicity online, while focusing on the things that bring me joy. I feel like I've found a way to refocus my attention on the things that make me happy, and less on the things that piss me off.

In doing so, I've kept my road rage in check, and have felt like lashing out at anyone. That sort of thing seems to happen at least once every summer, but as we approach October, I feel grounded and calm. I think reading No More Mr. Nice Guy has also helped quite a bit.

I think it's also helpful that when I find myself worked up, I immediately take ten minutes and listen to a Henry Shukman guided meditation.

The one thing I'm most proud of is managing to continue regular workouts though the hottest months. I have two large fans I utilize in my garage gym and I've done my best to work around the hottest days. I supplemented my weight lifting with yoga and Foundation Training and with exception of a little back pain earlier this week when I slept wrong, my body is feeling pretty fantastic these days. That's a huge win since I typically stop working out as the months get hotter and I struggle to take care of myself.

Something I've struggled with for most of my adult life is this unsettledness that I experience at night time. Often, I find myself struggling to get into something because I put a lot of pressure on what content I consume or what I choose to do. So, I might try to turn on a sitcom and think to myself, "You really should watch something more in line with your goals for the week or whomever you are trying to mold yourself into." It's a silly, irrational thought, but one that often blocks me from enjoying myself.

Over the past few months, I took all that pressure off my TV/movie/book/video game choices and instead now ask myself, "What do I want to get into for a few hours?" There's no obligation, no need to complete something, just what little distraction will serve me best. By eliminating the pressure to complete movies or TV series, I now find myself enjoying it so much more. And if I catch myself not finding something turning the TV on and off, I now open up a book or a comic and find other ways to pass time. I also put no pressure on myself to watch something new when it first comes out, nor do I try to keep up with things anymore. I'm getting older, and time is limited, I just cannot stay on top of everything, and that's okay. I don't need to be "the movie guy" forever. I think evolving is healthy.

Long-time readers, will recall many posts discussing my job woes over the past five years. Between leaving a miserable job that paid decent to find myself in an even worse situation making way less money, things finally changed late last December when a job I normally wouldn't have applied to was erroneously posted and it ended up being a tremendous move for me. I got an $11,000 raise, but more importantly, I found myself in the most positive work environment I've had in a very long time. After working in an office alone for three years, and then spending a year basically alone again, its surprisingly how much this introvert enjoys chatting with nice people. I tend to word vomit still and overshare, but I think I'm making up for not having anyone to talk to for the longest time. Ha!

I'm struggling to get into the NFL this year. I think seeing both the Lions and Steelers struggle has played a part in that. I also think that maybe watching so much of the UFL, CFL, and Arena actually ended up wearing me out on football a bit. I'm sure that'll change though.

I've found quite a few little things to tinker with lately. There was the emulation computer I put together, I set up my own site with Publii (which I really should explore some more), and tonight I soft-modded my Xbox 360, which if everything goes right, may end up replacing my emulation computer. I really need more hard drive space for the emulation PC, so... fingers crossed the Xbox works out. Maybe then I could flip the emulation PC into a Plex Server and find another use for my Lenovo laptop.

And I continue to use my Kindle Scribe daily, I'm not sure if I've made a better purchase this year.

So, things are going pretty good for me right now. Sure, I could find things to bit about (well... it would be money, definitely a lack of a money), but all-in-all, it could be worse. I'm hoping with the cooler temperature coming, I'll feel even more rejuvenated and hopefully this fall/winter will be wonderful.

Until next time.